Saturday, July 11, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Coming to Terms With "Motherhood OCD"
Monday, June 1, 2009
Time doesn't have to change things
Friday like most days in my life lately started out early and was guaranteed to be a long day. We had to go to my husbands shop so he could put in an order, we wanted to visit his dads grave on our way to my sister's graduation and then my husband's sister's graduation after that. But to back up- as I woke before the rest of my family and was getting ready for the day my thoughts were on my father in law as I often find them to be. I just kept thinking about how we could make the whole grave visiting thing more positive. Everyone that ever knew him has said at some point how much they learned from him. Wether it was learning from his mistakes or learning how to better treat people from all walks of life among many things. I believe that part of his purpose while he was on this earth was to teach and I want to take full advantage of all the lessons I can learn. So the thought was why not every time we go to visit his grave we talk about one of those things that we learned from him and want to be better at and then make a goal to work on that over the next while before we go back to visit the gravesite again. I mentioned to my husband the idea and he liked it so when we went up to the grave that morning I chose to work on my marriage. When my father in law was at his best my mother in law always had flowers on the table, new jewelry, little cards and notes. He really knew how to make her feel loved. But he also knew how to distance himself as I think all people do at some point or another in their marriage. I have always heard people say time changes things you get more comfortable and you stop holding hands and your evenings are spent doing separate things. I have already found this happening in my marriage and it scares me because ive only been married 3 yrs- and I intend to spend eternity with my husband how is there going to be a marriage if this distancing is already happening?I mean just last week I had had a horrible day with my 2 yr old and my mother in law kept her over night so I could have a break. I had every intention of making some yummy non- alcoholic drinks making up some popcorn and slipping into bed next to my husband and watching a movie. Instead I took a bath and read a book and my husband watched shows off our DVR.. and then fell asleep on the couch. This is when the flag went up for me... We had a whole night without kids and we didnt even cuddle or talk other than in passing.
Monday, May 11, 2009
*Sigh*
Monday, May 4, 2009
Late Nights
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Old Yeller
Remember how actions speak louder than words, Karyn?
Oh yeah.
Then, 10 or 15 minutes later, the younger girl, who is only 18 months old, snuck out of our yard into the neighbor's yard; something all my kids know is a big "no-no!"
Once again, my reaction was not as it should have been.
Since I was inside nursing my 2 month old baby boy, and was unable to run outside after her, I screamed as loud as i could from my kitchen that she had better get her little tush back in our yard now!
How often do I react this way? It doesn't matter really....it's just too much. How can I be a happy mom if I can't control my anger more appropriately? My own personal goal is to stop yelling completely. I had a 5th grade teacher once who did nothing but yell, yell, yell all the time. The end result? We all hated her, and gave her little respect. You're all probably better than me in this area. But, that's why it is the confession page!
~Karyn